psipsy

These zombie dreams I have sometimes get more and more comical. The latest one was like someone was filming a low-budget movie.

Premise was simple, there was an "oh shit" moment where people were turning into zombies, but not everyone. Then I found four objects that when placed correctly, they created a barrier that people could pass through easily, but zombies could not. In fact, attempting to pass through would spell doom for a zombie. The only sign it was there was a red laser line along the floor. So I set this up in a hallway, carefully concealing these objects. Also, the objects were enchanted brownies, and it wasn't the ingredients that made them enchanted (hooray for dream logic). Anyway! The horde of zombies were coming down the hallway, along with some that hadn't turned yet. Some of the zombies went right through the portal, much to my disappointment.

"Stop, you weren't supposed to go through the barrier."
"What barrier?"
"You see that red line there? That's the barrier. If you walked through that you'll drop over completely dead."
"But that one went through!"
"He's still a human. Now get back over." I clapped my hands loudly to get their attention. "Ok everyone, if you're a zombie and you cross through this barrier, you'll cease to exist. Anyone still alive can come through."
"What the- Nobody told us that!"
I waved a bunch of papers in the air. "Well you should have read the script."
Someone raised a hand. "What if we're not a zombie when we cross over, but we get bit beforehand?"
"Hm, I didn't think of that. I'll just say that it's too late for you then." There was a chorus of disapproval from the back.
"That sucks. Who wrote this?"
I was wondering that myself.

Begrudgingly, the zombies that had already come over went back, turned around, and went back to doing their zombie thing, except this time stopping at the line. Just past this barrier, there was a door to an auditorium, complete with catered food. Most people invariably headed there, including the zombies that had snuck over but didn't heed my notice HEY THAT INCLUDES YOU GET BACK OVER YOU'RE NOT ALIVE. Goddammit. Working with these people is like herding cats. Everyone's hungry? Fine. Ok, it's breaktime.

I eat my lunch, but I'm on the safe side of the barrier. I don't quite trust those zombies anyway, so I'm keeping this cast-iron pipe on my lap. Y'know, just in case they try something.